CARERS HEALTH
What I found that helps
When your day is full and not only are you caring for someone at home who is in constant need of your attention twenty four hours
a day, you also have the total responsibility for arranging hospital and doctors appointments, not only for the person you are caring
for, but many times for yourself as well, and I must add ( do not forget your own appointments if your health is suffering) easily done
when you are more often than not having to put someone elses needs before your own, you also have the responsibility for all finances involved,
and household chores, a certain amount of help is available to you, however coping with someone who has a mental disability that is not always
obvious to outsiders can be a tremendous strain because no one sees the affects and consequences that are happening in the home, it maybe extremely
difficult to leave the person alone even to go shopping for necessities and it is not always possible to get a sitter keeping you a prisoner
in your own home, sometimes you may have violence towards you to contend with as well and there is no one to turn to because no one will do
anything until the event happens, which is usually too late, you maybe caring and coping with someone who has both mental and physical disabilities,
in either case, or both you find you get little sleep, where does your health come into all this? Because in one area or another you find there
is still not enough help to prevent you from collapsing under the strain, if you find that you have difficulty in expressing the seriousness of
your problem, or that you are being ignored in any way I urge you to persevere in trying every avenue and link available to put your problem
across and find the right people who will listen and help, they are there with something to offer, and will direct you to who can if they
can't, and do not feel embarrassed or guilty that you are unable to cope.
These days you may also find that family members and neighbours are all too busy in their own lives to be able to offer
help, or are too depressed or even afraid of the situation they see you and the person you are caring for in, that reminds
them of their vulnerability or even mortality, many people are reluctant to recognise what could be ahead of them in the future,
they should however, because if they do not offer help when it is needed they may well find themselves without that help when they need
it. Wake up all of you who turn your backs and look at the figures and what the government are doing about it before it happens to you,
be it tragedy, illness or growing old, what happens to you matters and there are personal choices, as a carer certainly do everything
you can to help and make the one you are caring for comfortable, and follow the doctors advice on how is best to help them, obviously
this helps you too, but if you find that although this helps you cope it doesn't change the situation, or your health, there are things
that you can do even if you are yourself on tranquilizers and or other drugs. The first important thing that I found necessary to do was
learn to take care of myself first, if you don't who is left to take care of the person you are looking after, I can only say what helped me,
it takes effort but is worth while persevering and it works. Never say you can't, always tell yourself you can and do it, don't try, DO IT.
Plan these steps and stick to them, if you lapse don't give in start again, learn to discipline yourself for your own sake.
You may find your sleep pattern inevitably and constantly interrupted, and it is a fact that lost sleep cannot be made up
for, lack of sleep has a detrimental effect on you physically, and emotionally, and taking frequent naps when time is available
is not always the answer as they can become a habit and interfere with your body clock, you must check this with your doctor,
what did help me was half an hour of fresh air and breathing exercises, even just opening the door, or stepping out into the garden
for ten minutes or so at a time, a hot drink without caffeine, and mind relaxing exercises that suit you, never try meditating when you
are fatigued by lack of sleep, meditation is best done when you are feeling more refreshed, a light box used during the day can also be a help.
Exercise is also just as important as relaxing, choose an exercise that suits you and again ask your doctors advice to check that
it is not too strenuous for you, half an hour is better than nothing at all, you may think you get enough exercise already with all
you have to do, this is different, it is specifically for you, take a brisk walk if you can, once you have a good routine of your own
even if you have to stagger the times a bit you will feel better.
Food, make sure you are eating healthy foods, eat good fresh vegetables and fruit, for yourself, and also get them
for the person you are caring for, consult your doctor and get a good healthy diet and stick to it.
Your life! Choose your television programmes, tape the ones you like if you can, or turn it off altogether and do something
that interests you, preferably something you can pick up and put down any time, another half an hour or possibly more to relax,
take a course that suits you and the time you have, if you can't think of anything search for information at libraries, telephone book,
computer, and I am sure care organisations will help you to find what will interest you, search for alternative therapies that will suit
you and consult your doctor to ask if they will be helpful, there are many that are, so far including time for your interest is one and
half hours, much of which can be staggered if necessary or even perhaps prolonged, it can be done, you will feel the benefit.
Talk to people, find those who you think and feel will be helpful to you, and look around till you find them, do not be put off or
disillusioned, there are those who will listen and do their best to help, you can also come into contact with other carers, either
in groups, or you could join a pen pal organisation if you have difficulty getting out. There are a lot of people who are carers who
are hesitant to come forward and try desperately to manage on their own, if you are one of them please never be embarrassed to come
forward for help, you are admired, and if you know of anyone who is caring for someone and has forgotten about themselves please remind
them how important they are and give them as much helpful information as you can.
D S Leonard
