How boring to stay in bed when you don't need to and the more you stay in bed the more tired you feel. Instead of thinking you enjoy it think of what you are missing. I have found the best way to start the day is with a sense of expectancy, not necessarily something to look forward to, but to greet whatever challenges the day holds willingly and to accept the good things joyfully. Some things that happen are more challenging than others so I am not saying that it is always easy but with the right sense of perspective there will always be something however small to make us smile if we are grounded enough to be aware of them, or something to learn that we did not know before,. How boring it would be if we did know exactly what was going to happen every day and there were no challenges to stimulate us.

Have you ever tried to get a difficult teenager or young person out of bed in the morning, and do you remember a time when you found it difficult yourself,? I know when I was younger, and I am not going to specify exactly when that was I was no different in having that problem, along with having to tidy my bedroom when I was asked, now I realise it would have been much easier to have done both those things at the time as I would have got where ever I wanted to be much faster. However some teenagers do not know where they want to be, or even what they want to be doing, it is all part of growing up and sometimes adolescence can be painful and the sense of expectancy quite frightening, or even depressing as hormones play havoc which doesn't help. I found what did help most was incentive, so where does that incentive come from? It comes from a voice inside that says MOVE, but it needs a trigger and I had to find it myself. Sometimes the world felt that it had nothing to offer me, and that what ever there was I wasn't confident or good enough to achieve it, besides what was the point? I asked myself, and so I decided that staying in bed was what I needed and was good enough for me, but remember staying in bed for no reason makes you tired, ask yourself are you honestly tired or just bored.? And I am not talking about getting over a well deserved hangover.

If an adult says find something to do, that is very annoying isn't it!? Instead of getting irritated it helped me to write a list, not of things that had to be done but of things I would like to do, and the point is I did not want to spend my whole life in bed. Do you? So I had to move at some time, don't we? Putting it off is pointless, so I chose something I would enjoy that had a goal, again no point if it didn't lead to something. It had to be a challenge and I didn't know how I was going to do it, but as soon as I accepted it I found there were people there to help me, and even if there is no one at home to do so there are places to go to ask for advice, employment agencies, advice centres, a teacher, a friend, there is always someone, or something you see, or read about that seems to appear. Little triggers started firing for me all over the place one thing leading to another, my own achievements and they didn't have to be big ones gave me more and more incentive. I even tidied my room occasionally, I was still learning to do things I didn't like but felt much better afterwards.

These days technology can be a great help but not if for example all day is spent playing computer games, or watching television programmes, particularly the violent or mindless ones, how can that not be harmful, it's like saying "that's ok you can brain wash me" do you want to be brain washed,? I decided that I was not going to allow a machine, or people who want to make money out of me turn me into a mug who can't make sensible decisions, advertising, magazines, and being robotic in following some silly and harmful fashionable trends became less important to me. Some adults do not understand or have forgotten what it is like to be a teenager or young person, it's a different generation, but being kind isn't difficult and there has to be tolerance on both sides. If you are having a hard time getting your teen out of bed and feel so frustrated you could throw a bucket of water over them, please don't be too harsh, just do your best for them as you always do, and talk it out and do your best to find out if there are any underlying emotional problem, possibly bullying, or anything disturbing them that they need to talk about. Adolescence can be hell but most times we are resilient enough to move through it, being patient helps and it works, also remembering, "You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot please all of the people all of the time" start the day as I did with a sense of expectancy and enjoy the challenges, there is no such thing as failure unless you decide to give in, and start by making your bed when you get out of it.

BY ANGELA PORTER



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